nukular

adj.

1. Pertaining to the atomic nukulus

2. Pertaining to a weapon typically made out of "yew-ray-nee-um," what blows up real good, an' done half near kill the whole goddamn planet!

1) Grammaw: Jimmy-Ray, what did they learn you in skiewl today?
Jimmy: We did science, Grammaw. We done learned all about the Creation, and even sumthin' about this little bitty thing called the atomic nukulus.

2) "Saddam Hussein recently sought large quantities of uranium from Africa, so he could cook him up a mess of nukular bombs for to blow up the whole Godly nation of Texas." -Dubya

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corium

n. The lava of molten (or previously molten) nuclear fuel resulting from a reactor meltdown. A rather unpleasant material.

Following the meltdown at Springfield Unit I, Mr. Burns hired local schoolchildren at minimum wage to shovel the corium out of the reactor building.

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shitless

Adj. Having an absence of faeces in one's colon, typically due to involuntary discharge of the bowels from extreme fright.

"After hearing what happened to bad little boys at Old English Preparatory Academy, William was scared shitless."

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snake eyes

n. (1. Non-urban) A roll of two dice in which both show 1.

(2. Urban) The number 1.1, esp. an academic GPA of 1.1

Yolanda: 'Sup Dashante, how's yo midterms lookin'?

Dashante: Not too good, baby. I'm rollin' snake eyes!

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creation science

n. A fundamentalist Christian outreach concept, in which the intent is to "debunk" science with the word of scripture. Its most vocal adherents are southern and mid-western U.S. evangelical protestants (see Bible Thumper.) Creation "scientists" try to convince "unsaved" people that the Earth was formed in a Creation that took place at the hands of Almighty God a few thousand years ago, and hope their evidence will convert a few of these "unsaved" people to the faith.

Some key tenets of Creation Science:

--Scientists (the real ones) are going to Hell, where they will burn forever for blasphemy of the Holy Word of God.

--"Evolution" is a scam to trick us into believing that wholesome, white Christians have common ancestry with apes and chimps and (oh no, please no...) black people! Evolution is the Devil's Theory (yes, it is just a theory).

--Hell is real, full of sulfur, and it exists in the center of the Earth. (Most persons on Earth will be summarily cast into this Lake of Fire when we pass away.)

Unfortunately, unlike real scientists, Creation Scientists face a non-existent job market. Most find work in blue-collar manufacturing jobs, or else provide for their families by huntin' sqwirls, 'coons and o-possum. Their hobbies range from watching NASCAR, to whippin' the kids, to attending Klan and CCC rallies. Prrrraise Jesus!

Question: How old is this part of the Grand Canyon?

Scientist: This formation is about five million years old, according to our best uranium-lead dating...

Creation Scientist: Them there canyon ain't no more 'n' maybe 4000 years ole,' and if you done believe otherwise, you're a Hellbound sinner, praise the Lord! Now please op'n' all yawl's Bibles to Genesis, Chapter Six and let us remind ourselves of the word of God...

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skateboarding is not a crime

n. The urban skater's one-line manifesto. Frequently heard blurted out by skateboarding juveniles arrested for vandalism by means of a skateboard, truancy, or marijuana use.

Strictly speaking, the act of personal locomotion on a four-wheeled board is not a crime in any jurisdiction in the United States. However, many cities have outlawed skateboarding on public edifices because it results in destructive grinding and causes injuries, the costs for both of which are borne by the taxpayer.

Furthermore, the culture associated with skateboarding youth is widely held to be a celebration of delinquency: marijuana use, rebellion against authority, truancy, and other problems are known to be prevalent in these juvenile populations. While this is no reason to discriminate against skateboarding in general, it sure doesn't help the image of the activity in the public's eye.

(A boy, about 12 years of age, with long bleached hair and extremely wide corduroy flare pants, is recklessly grinding his way down the outdoor staircase in front of Town Hall on a skateboard.)

Police Officer: "Young man, did I just see you skating down that marble staircase?"

Boy: (stares sullenly at ground) "Skateboarding is not a crime."

Officer: "Take those headphones off while I'm talking to you. Now what does that sign say right there?"

Sign: "Skateboarding on Town Hall property is subject to max. fine of $250 or 90 days in jail by order of City Rev. Code 08-2776."

Boy (fidgeting): "I dunno. Skateboarding is not a crime."

Officer: "And what's this? Did I just see a dime bag fall out of your pocket?"

Boy (crying): "Skateboarding is not a crime."

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crack whore

n. A female who provides sexual services in exchange for rocks of crack cocaine, upon which she is physiologically dependent.

Daequon's bitch a crack ho--you gotta git out the rock before you can git out the cock, dogg. Dat's just how it works.

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