Bush Monkey

Bush Monkey
{Methius addictivius}
A Bush Monkey is commonly found in the southern parts of the U.S such as Alabama and Arkansas. Bush monkeys are characterized by their addictions to methamphetamine, opiates and in most cases shady demeanor. They spend most of their time scavenging for scrap metal and hiding in the bushes outside your house to connect to your wifi and take anything that isn't tied down.

Not to be confused with the northern term Porch Monkey.

God dammit man I think we have a bush monkey outside! Quick disconnect the wifi and lock the fuckin doors

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