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crystal lake

The "crunkest" city east of the mississippi. Home to the world famous Dole mansion, summer home of Bobby Banana. Originally the leader of ice exports to near-by Chicago, the quiet birthplace of some Styx members, has now swelled to a population of about 50 thousand. The govenment flawed, the school system is surprisingly above average, churning out State Pom titles like so many ice blocks of yesteryear. Having every chain store known to Illinois, the city has become quite the commercial hub for the Northwestern Chicagoland area. And in the process quietly annexing surrounding wealthy townships with all the ferocity of a hungry hungry hippo. The discoverer, Ziba Beardsley, was quoted as saying, "My parents have given me quite a terrible moniker," and "This lake is as clear as crystal"

Chip: "I heard Crystal Lake Pickling and Canning Company once owned a dilly of a pickle factory in the downtown district of our fair city"
Danny: "Yeah, they closed it down because your mom is such a bitch"
Chip: "good call by the chamber of commerce, they really are true Captains of Industry"
Danny: "Now only if they would do something about that hippie/mexican problem"
Chip: "Story of my life."
Danny: "lets go get stuck in traffic"
Chip: "thats easy to do, lets take any street at any time of the day"
Danny: "cute shoes, I love Crystal Lake"

by Ch!p July 12, 2006

117👍 34👎


crystal lake

The "crunkest" city east of the mississippi. Home to the world famous Dole mansion, summer home of Bobby Banana. Originally the leader of ice exports to near-by Chicago, the quiet birthplace of some Styx members, has now swelled to a population of about 50 thousand. The govenment flawed, the school system is surprisingly above average, churning out State Pom titles like so many ice blocks of yesteryear. Having every chain store known to Illinois, the city has become quite the commercial hub for the Northwestern Chicagoland area. And in the process quietly annexing surrounding wealthy townships with all the ferocity of a hungry hungry hippo. The discoverer, Ziba Beardsley, was quoted as saying, "My parents have given me quite a terrible moniker," and "This lake is as clear as crystal"

Chip: "I heard Crystal Lake Pickling and Canning Company once owned a dilly of a pickle factory in the downtown district of our fair city"
Danny: "Yeah, they closed it down because your mom is such a bitch"
Chip: "good call by the chamber of commerce, they really are true Captains of Industry"
Danny: "Now only if they would do something about that hippie/mexican problem"
Chip: "Story of my life."
Danny: "lets go get stuck in traffic"
Chip: "thats easy to do, lets take any street at any time of the day"
Danny: "cute shoes, I love Crystal Lake"

by Ch!p January 7, 2006

14👍 10👎


Bobby Banana

a skateboarding banana youngster with red sneakers who loves dancing and wears sunglasses, loves to cook (with bananas, of course) has an online biography, appears in TV and radio commercials and will correspond by e-mail. Dole Mascot.

Bobby Banana Shuffle
Hey Kids! It’s me Bobby Banana
And I have a big surprise for you
It’s a new dance called the Dole Banana Shuffle
And this is all you have to do! Come on!

Do do do do it
There’s nothin’ to it
Do do do do the Dole
Banana Shuffle!
Do do do do it
There’s nothin’ to it
Do do do do the Dole
Banana Shuffle!

First thing you got to do is clap your hands
Then everybody stamp your feet
Just let the music take you 1-2-3-4
And think of somethin’ sweet – That’s me!

Do do do do it
There’s nothin’ to it
Do do do do the Dole
Banana Shuffle!

Do do do do it
There’s nothin’ to it
Do do do do the Dole
Banana Shuffle!

Come on now don’t be shy
The Dole Shuffle’s worth a try
So everybody on your feet
Let’s go now
Clap your hands,
Stamp your feet
Sing along – sing along with me

©2001 Dole Food Company, Inc.

by Ch!p January 7, 2006

23👍 12👎


Lake in the Hills

if towns were like family members, Lake in the Hills, Illinois is like that little brother that used to be adorable, but now is going through that really awkward and fugly stage. No one cuts the kid slack anymore because his face is really chubby and his permanent teeth resemble a "battle of epic proportions". Lake in the Hills always has a grease stain on his shirt and a big chocolate smear on his upper lip. The little brat is always whining about "subsidiary tax impositions" and "anal seepage".

Me: "Crystal Lake has officially made Lake in the Hills her bitch."
Danny: "yeah, i read that in the Herald this morning"
Me: "You were reading while a-pounding Herald?"
Danny: "I had a little down time"

by Ch!p January 7, 2006

27👍 14👎


a-pounding

awesomely efficent gay sex. especially popular with the red headed community. Strictly doggie-style,and where the bent over partner acts as a table, accomodating the a-pounder to a variety of menial tasks. This surface or "table" can be used for a variety of reasons, whether to rest your scalding hot morning coffee or paint your masterpiece upon perchance?

That pseudo-irish fellow not only balanced my checkbook, but also gave me quite the a-pounding, I do say.

by Ch!p January 7, 2006

24👍 7👎