Chappaqua

A hamlet in northern Westchester County, New York, replete, unfortunately, with illiterate antisemitic ingrates. A quiet, low-crime, high achievement enclave a short train ride away from any excitement, bustle, or, if you prefer, depravity.

I failed my preschool SAT's and can't get into private school, with its $30,000 per year per child tuition, and my low I.Q. put Stuyvesant out of reach, so my family had to move to Chappaqua.

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TEArrorist

Armed teabagger

The congresswoman's meet-and-greet was canceled again after threats of gunplay by the local TEArrorist Party.

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