software update

In computing, a binary executable package, usually delivered via the internet, intended to improve, by adding new features, or fix problems in a certain piece of software. Usually used an excuse by software companies in modern times, to deliver crappy software on the basis that it can be updated sometime in the future. Users therefore become guinea pigs for almost any kind of exotic idea that software companies can conjure. The is the electronic analog of governments lacing water supplies with LSD. "Let's just release it and see what happens."

The problem with such updates is that they are becoming more and more numerous and almost always tend to screw stuff up, rather than fix anything. Software updates, for example, are notorious for screwing up stuff that used to work just fine, and fixing nothing that you actually gave a shit about. These days one can expect to spend at least 1% of their lives dealing with software updates; either in the update delivery process or in the googling of solutions to fix the problems created by such updates, or just googling "why so many f^$%$#n updates?"

Updates almost always are initated at the worst possible time, like when you are in the middle of working on an important report, or sending lewd pictures to your friends.

Some companies believe that they own your internet quota and thus make software updates as large as possible (the equivalent of re-downloading the whole software program from scratch) as opposed to an incremental update.

Boss: "Jack, have you finished that report I asked you to do?"
Jack: "No, I haven't because my computer is jammed up installing software updates."

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