plank doctor

A plank doctor is a professional in the art of plank study. Plank doctors are recruited by organisations to seek out 'planks' in their workplaces. Planks being socially inept, smelly bastards. Plank doctors attempt to cleanse and heal these people, if a solution is not found the plank is usually fobbed off into a ditch.

Do you hear about Jimmy - a plank doctor came and took him away

Jim : Look at that ditch full of those dead planker bastards
Bob: Yeah those bloody plank doctors are mental

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Spam Fudger

A spam fudger is a person who engages in eating shit off the floor while furiously masturbating. The climax comes when the man reaches an orgasm and has shit all over his face.

I was walking home last nite and saw a spam fudger, it was sooo cool

that guy was spam fudging so hard it looked awesome

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Cack Gash

Cack meaning shit, faeces or poo. Gash being a womans reproductive organ or vagina. Cack gash invariably means a vagina that has been covered in a man or womans shit. This usually happens when a man, after deciding against sex, opts to shit over the ladys vagina. The lady can become incensed and throw fits of rage as a result.

I gave Katie a cack gash last night, she cried for sixteen hours

girl : i want to make sweet love baby
boy : i dont, i want to shit all over your gash bitch!

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