Bert Syndrome

n. The characteristic of having a single eyebrow across the forehead, much like the Sesame Street character Bert. Also known as unibrow.

Nick wouldn't be a bad looking guy if he'd only do something about his Bert Syndrome. Can't he get it waxed or threaded or something?

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Birkenfaux

n. Ugly sandals that are inexpensive knockoffs of Birkenstocks.

Maya couldn't afford real Birkenstocks so she found some cork-soled Birkenfaux sandals in KMart that looked just like them.

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brossiere

n. Undergarment worn around the chest of a male, intended to provide support to male breasts.

Uncle Steve's man-boobs are larger than Aunt Sue's. He could use the support of a well-made brossiere.