Tigers Wood Syndrome

Syndrome = a group of signs and symptoms that together are characteristic or indicative of a specific disease or other disorder.

Tiger Woods = As of November 2009 the worlds richest sports person, and possibly the greatest Golfer in history.

Tigers Wood Syndrome = As of December 2009 a recognised condition suffered by arrogant rich sportsmen that have had at least 10 extra marital affairs.

To be truly considered a sufferer of ‘Tigers Wood Syndrome’ the extra marital affairs must include a cocktail waitress and 2 porn stars. Severe cases may in fact see the cocktail waitress and porn stars appearing together. (Or should that be, if the sufferer is lucky….)

The only known cure for Tigers Wood Syndrome is a significant payout (millions and millions) from the sufferer to the newly estranged wife.

Husband – “Honey I had an affair, can you forgive me?”
Wife – “who was she…?”
Husband - “well there was Cori, Mindy, Jamie, Kalika, Jaimee, Rachel, Holly and well I cant remember the others names”
Wife – “can I have my 80 Million !”
Husband - "but its Tigers Wood Syndrome..."

8👍 6👎

Heiferslump

Heifer = a young cow, especially one that has never had a calf
Slump = a drooping or hunched posture

Heiferslump = a large overweight lady slumped in her chair or more commonly on a bench in a food court eating takeaway.