Deaf

What you call your friends when they don’t hear you the first time.

P1: Hey, can you get pizza?
P2: What?
P1: Are you deaf? Why didn’t you hear me the first time?

Screen Licker

That one guy who lacks the brain cells to know what soap and water does and instead licks his/her screen to clean it; A person beyond the level that we would call lazy; A person who is both extremely hygienic and unhygienic at the same time.

Your a screen licker?!? That’s disgusting!