convertible

An apartment to which an extra "bedroom" has been added through the subdivision of a bedroom or living room with a makeshift wall. This usually results in a tiny, rat-maze-like room with no doors, windows, or closets, and no sound insulation. Not recommended for adults. A common occurrence in New York City, this procedure is used especially for turning overpriced, small one-bedroom apartments into overpriced, even smaller two-bedroom apartments. Usage is not standard, and some differentiate between "converted" apartments in which the subdividing wall(s) have already been added, and "convertible" apartments which have not yet been subdivided. Transparently and insultingly exploiting this confusion, unscrupulous (read: all) rental apartment brokers almost always classify any overpriced one-bedroom apartment as a "convertible" two-bedroom.

Renters of convertible apartments are in common parlance called "suckers," and the act of renting itself is called a "mistake."

"You son of a b****, you advertised this as a 2BR and I came all the way to the f***ing West Side to find a studio with a bead curtain."

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Second Avenue Subway

An improvement of New York City's public transportation that has been desperately needed since it was first proposed in 1919, the Second Avenue Subway still inspires manic laughter and searing anger in many at its mere mention. Persons living on the East Side are, naturally, most susceptible to such fits as they are psychologically unbalanced from riding the city's most overcrowded and unreliable subway line on Lexington Avenue. New Yorkers may recall that this line was promised some 50 years ago as a replacement for the decommissioned elevated trains on the East side; some may even recall the $500 million bond issue approved in 1951 for its construction that rapidly disappeared into the black hole of kleptocracy that is the New York City government. More colossally embarrassing than even Boston's Big Dig, the Second Avenue Subway, which will supposedly be constructed by 2011, may yet come to pass and restore the hopes and dreams of millions of Americans. The more likely possibility, however, given Mayor Michael Bloomberg's judgment that the city's most pressing transportation problem is that residents of Queens don't have easy access to an imaginary stadium on the West Side, is that the Second Avenue Subway will remain the unicorn for New Yorkers who have been screwed for over 50 years.

New Yorker A: "Second Avenue Subway."

New Yorker B: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my God, you're hysterical."

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