saying "hi" to my monster

masturbating at a high rate of speed

Annie: "What are you doing?"
Steve: Saying "hi" to my monster. Jerking off, if you
will, since you won't help me
on that subject.

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ficus

A cleaner, safer, substitute for another "f" word that would not draw the ire of those who may hear it.

Sandra: (placing down the victorious card in poker) I win
again...
Erica : OH...FICUS!

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unresponsi-guilty

To be guilty of something, but not responsible for it. An excellent example is what happened to our illustrious president William Jefferson Clinton. He was guilty of receiving oral from a woman not his wife, but was not responsible because (1) Monica did it to him, and (2) any REAL MAN I know would not turn down a blowski. How could he resist? Very much like leaving a thousand dollars on a desk, then leaving the room. If that thousand is gone when you return, whoever took it is guilty, but not responsible.

Thomas: "How about that BJ president Clinton got from
Monica?"

Michael "Please...Clinton was clearly unresponsi-guilty on
that one, bro.."

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