zima crowd

Yuppies, and their less educated brethren, who attempt to look "hip," "hot," and/or "with it" by drinking Zima which is supposed to be a trendy alcoholic beverage with the flavor of a wine cooler and the kick of a beer. For those who can't handle either.

I couldn't get a picher last night since the place was packed with the zima crowd still sporting their softball uniforms, along with the accompanying dirt and aroma.

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agency

(n) casual reference to the Central Intelligence Agency.
Typically used by chucks trying to impress others by implying they work for the CIA.

Also used by people with a basic understanding of the intelligence business as a general reference to movie and television characters who are supposed to be spies.

Charlene: "Excuse me, do you have the time?"
Chuck: "I'm sorry, I work for The Agency."

Moviegoer #1: "Damn, check out ol' boy's suit."
Moviegoer #2: "Must be an agency man."

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retarded bomb

1) (n) An unguided bomb fitted with vanes at the aft end to retard (slow) its rate of descent. Designed to be dropped from low altitudes, the vanes (air brakes) allow the delivery aircraft to egress without being struck by fragments from it's own ordnance upon detonation.

2) (v) Leaving an unsavory traveling companion someplace other than your intended destination.

3) (n) A poorly told, or otherwise untenable, joke which, once told, lays there like an unexploded bomb while the jokester prays someone can come along to defuse the situation.

1) The F4U screamed across the treetops and dropped a stick of retarded bombs on the SAM site, much to the SAM crew's displeasure.

2) "Larry was whining again so I retarded bombed the bus stop on my way here."

3) Joker: "... and the guy says 'that's not my dog.'"
Crickets: "chirp"
Joker: "Tough crowd."

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Sphincter Nazi

In the FPS computer game Call of Duty, it's that German soldier that materializes in the room that was just cleared, and shoots the player in the back with some species of automatic weapon, making a counterattack impossible.

This primarily occurs when the player doesn't follow the linear construction of the game's timeline and spawn triggers.

For example: Killing every German on a given map prior to actually achieving the objective. After which, while en route to the extraction point, the player is shot and killed by a soldier that apparently dropped from the player's ass (since that's the only place he could have been hiding).

Ovserver: Dude, why the hell are you just running around?
Player: Making sure there are no hostiles left on this map before I set my charges.
Observer: Whats it been, half an hour?
Player: Give or take.
Sphincter Nazi: "Americaner." *Brrrraaaaaaap*
Player: Where the fu...
Observer: Man, you got schooled by that Sphincter Nazi.

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turducken

1) (n) An American Thanksgiving holiday culinary grotesque: Consists of a chicken, stuffed into a duck, progressively stuffed into a turkey and baked. Provides hours of entertainment in the form of waiting for the sucker to finish cooking and enough sandwich meat to last through The Apocalypse.

2) (n) Any obese human that will set upon a buffet like a plague of locusts, stripping said buffet of all edible material, leaving only the garnish, the decorative toothpicks, and the sweaty cheese cubes from earlier in the day.

3) (n) Any plan that is unnecessarily complicated or futile. Used as a simile.

1) "Time for the Cowboys/Redskins game, is the turducken done yet?"

2) "Uh oh, better hit the foodline before turducken over there strips that bitch."

3) Jeff: "I'll be swapping out this small-block, V8 for an straight six."
Dale: "Baking up a turducken are we?"
Jeff: "What?"
Dale: "Sounds like fun."

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Suck B Gon®

1) An imaginary product that miraculously stops your computer from crashing, freezing, loading plugins you don't want, or otherwise behaving in a manner that would cause even Gandhi to reach for a bat.

2) An amusing way to open a conversation with the person in the next cubicle, as you declare your computer isn't performing and you're going for coffee.

1) "Damn, I got the blue screen of death. Anyone have any Suck B Gon®?"

2) Bob: "Sheeeit. And I'm all out of Suck B Gon®. Guess it's time for some coffee, you up for it?"
Neil: "Sure, why not."

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hump rash

n) The resulting rash left between the tops of one's thighs after a prolonged hump (hike). Legs rubbing together, with the addition of an abrasive such as denim or a similar heavy fabric, removes the top layer or two of skin leaving a red, uneven, and sensitive hump rash.

Not always noticed during said hump (due to adrenaline) but becomes immediately obvious once you step into a hot shower.

Can be prevented by wearing compression shorts (Spandex) in the place of your standard undergarments (boxers or briefs).

The difference between a hike and a hump is that a hump involves carrying gear. One can hike with a day pack, a water bottle and a camera. One humps when they are carrying items of greater density such as tents, field rations, ammunition for the mortar and a rocket launcher used for destroying enemy tanks.

"We had a 20 miler yesterday and when I hit the shower I realized I was sporting a harsh case of hump rash."

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