Water my plants

A phrase used to imply a form or self pleasure; masturbation

The lofi music made me want to get up and water my plants.

dummy cord

1) A lanyard (or leash if you prefer) applied to something you wish to keep on your person while you perform acts which may result in said object's irrevocable loss.

Ex: Tying a length of paracord to your fishing knife so if you drop it, it won't plunge to the bottom of the ocean, thereby leaving you to cut that salt encrusted bowline with your teeth.

2) The act of applying such a lanyard to your equipment.

1) "Ya got some dummy cord? I don't want to lose my compass when we jump."

2) "Dummy cord that radio for me so we don't lose it when we hit the surf zone."

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Bud scale

1. An archaic term (preceeded by a number) to indicate the amount of beer one would need to consume prior to engaging in an carnal relationship with a given target.

The term is derived from the number of Budweisers (Buds) needed to overlook any obvious physical deficiencies.

2. Justification of self-induced beer-goggling.

1. Mr. White: Check her out man.
Mr. Blue: Nah. She's about a 6 on the Bud scale.

2. Mr. White: She looking a bit rugged
Mr. Blue: Ten says she's only a 3 on the Bud scale.

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impact area

1) (n) A military term. The business end of a firing range. Where all the ordnance fired, lobbed, dropped or planted does it's work. Basically every millimeter forward of the firing line. Typically contains unexploded ordnance and as such is not such a good place for a hike or picnic.

2) (n) A zone of approximately 3 feet by 5 feet in front of your boss or manager's desk.

3) (n) Anywhere in which interaction with certain people can be detrimental to your health or career.

1) The Lieutenant couldn't figure out the map again, so we ended up humping through the impact area behind the mortar range.

2) "The boss called me into the impact area today to tell me our department needs to boost throughput and reduce time to market."

3) I got off the freeway at Crenshaw and had to drive through the impact area to find a gas station.

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