Steaming Turner

Regarded highly amongst Pagan communities the Steaming Turner, or the Vindr Illr as it was known more commonly back then, is a distant relative of the Cleveland Steamer. It is believed the it predates the Cleveland Steamer by almost 3000 years and naturally fell out of favor as beards historically went out of fashion. It's recent uptick of late is largely thanks to hipsters and the rise in inequality resulting in higher numbers of homeless.

Where the two differ the most is in execution.

After squeezing a deuce out on a willing partners chest it's imperative that before you begin rolling back and forth on the evacuated excrement you performatively tug on your beard and if possible twirl your moustache whilst cackling. Norse communities were known to take this even further, tying their large members to to their beards and using the underside as a sponging area to mop up any excess.

Mikey just pulled off a steaming turner, lets give him a round of applause everyone.

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