Headstoning

The ye olde family tradition of visiting various grave sites usually of recently dead family members. In extreme cases, visiting dead family members that have been dead for centuries. Could also mean perusing the headstones of random people and usually involves making fun of their names or the flower selection of the month.

"Oh no not again! Dad, this is the third time this month we've gone headstoning!"

"That cemetery down the road has the greatest opportunity for headstoning with over five acres of prime headstoning real estate!"

"Assden! Makerberry! Yeaste! These names are too funny!"

"These yellow and pink carnations are too gay for an outdoorsman like Peter was."

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Imaginary Russert Qualities

When reminiscing about the late Tim Russert, these Imaginary Russert Qualities or IRQs, are the ideas that conjure up in your mind, regardless of whatever the media says contrary to them.

"Her dad has at least three of the Imaginary Russert Qualities."

"Calm down dad, you're getting the IRQs again."

Imaginary Russert Qualities include, but are not limited to the following:

1. Russert as an Alcoholic with various gins and vodkas on top of his stainless steel fridge

"Don't you even think about touching my Tanqueray you little nitwit!"

2. Poor parenting skills such as suddenly screaming at his son with a piece of corn chowder hanging on his lip.

"How was your day at school son?"
"eh, it was okay"
"You better hope that passed your exams with flying colors or else I'll hang your scrawny ass up by your silly pants, I'm not waking up at ridiculous hours to interview these jackasses for my health! Now go to your room and don't come out until you've finished Wealth of Nations!!!"

3. Throwing temper tantrums whilst making home repairs:

"GODDAMMIT I WANT MY FATHER BACK!!" ::KNOCKS HAMMER THROUGH WALL::

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