Internet

Life's evil yet cherished twin brother that does everything better.

Person with a life: I just love the cool ocean breeze!

Internet addict: I visit it often as Franklin and beat the f*ck out of sharks by activating my Invincibility cheat that I've come to know by heart.

Person with a life: Well I've invested in my own boat and am paying it off fully by my next payday which is 2 weeks from now.

Internet addict: Michael has a total of 23 boats, 4 military ships, and 34 speedphiles.

Person with a life: I have a job.

Internet addict: My Sims each have jobs that pay 30,000$ or more per week. Not including daily income and farming.

Person with a life: I have a girlfriend.

Internet addict: Whenever I'm not watching multiple hot stars banging each other I have my own girlfriend who's also portable.

Person with a life: Mine's hot.

Internet addict: Mine's an Asian otaku.

Person with a life: I actually touch mine.

Internet addict: Touching other humans can transmit from the hundreds of thousands to the billions of germs per touch.

Person with a life: Mine gives me head.

Internet addict: Every day.

Person with a life: GODDAMMIT.

1👍 2👎