whiplash

The preferred sound a quadriplegic makes when they dive into a swimming pool.

Lifeguard: Hmmm, that sounded like a whiplash. Better get me first aid kit ready.

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green ketchup

Slang, used by farmers situated in Northumberland to describe the deposit left on their penis once removed from a Donkey's mouth.

Steve's Mam: Fook Steve, wots all dat snot on ye bed sheets?
Steve: Fook Mam, its ye Green Ketchup. Like. From da Donkey. Fook

5👍 10👎

geordie

Often employed by the Samaritans to converse with potential suicidals. With their cheeky wit and incomprehensible tongue, many authorities have praised the Geordies for declining annual suicide figures.

Screech: So you're a Geordie? And a Samaritan? Praise be to God.

182👍 275👎

Tron

A noun of any description, especialy useful when you have forgot the word you wanted to use.

In pontoon (blackjack) a word to use instead of "twist" (hit)

"Can someone answer the tron"
"Pass me the tron"

In pontoon, (dealer) "tron or stick?" (player) "tron"

7👍 26👎

shamone mother fucker!

Official motto of the Tourettes Syndrome Foundation. A wide variety of merchandise is available from their gift shop with the phrase proudly emblazoned for all to enjoy.

Edith: Gosh, I wonder where Doris bought that delightful tea-cosy with "Shamone mother fucker" stitched on it? It's pure fooking class.
Betty: Gosh.

35👍 28👎

pipin

The gentle sound of an elephant being fisted by one's mother. Available on CD from all good Petrol Stations

Darwin: What is that strangely addictive sound from behind those bushes, hairy native?
Hairy Native: Its them feckin Elephant's pipin

15👍 37👎

poop deck

The turntable that DJs reserve for playing Scooter on, so as not to contaminate their expensive decks with the audio equivalent of Poptarts.

Gina: Fook Bev, the DJs mincing the Poop Deck.
Bev: Fook.

16👍 65👎