Guyroning

The act of a male taking up the task of destroying wrinkles through the use of an iron.

Look at that Mitch over there, he's guyroning while his girlfriend's watching TV.

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Dooch bag

Dooch bag is the verbal mispronunciation of douche bag, as doosh bag is the written misspelling of doosh bag.

Also, a blatant mispronunciation of the word douche bag, used by mitches.

"I had 14 kills on Halo and was about to get a perfection when someone on my team betrayed me. What a dooch bag!"

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Tattle battle

When person A sees person B doing something bad and threatens to spill the beans. Person B responds with his or her own threat of blackmail, to which person A responds with even more blackmail. Can escalate to death threats.

Usually takes place between siblings or people who know each other quite well.

Also, this can take place between two or more parties. Various classifications of tattle battles include, but are not limited to the following: minor skirmish, big team battle, and nuclear warfare.

Tattle battles can lead to bickering, verbal and physical attacks, including being called such epithets as bitchass, and death.

My girlfriend's best friend caught me fucking 69 various guys and threatened to tell my girlfriend that I was actually gay. That would be completely unnecessary, so I had to start a tattle battle with that little bitch.

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ftmw

For the motherfucking win.

Person 1: Did you see Push?

Person 2: Hell yeah! Dakota Fanning ftmw!

Person 1: Ftmw?

Person 2: DAKOTA FANNING FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! *cums*

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I'm sorry, want a cookie?

A phrase said in response to a completely pointless story in which one bitches about something nobody cares about.

Can be said either extremely and obviously sarcastically or with extreme concern. Both methods are fairly effective in making the victim look like a fag.

1. Stupid bitch's facebook status that's just looking for attention: Oh my god, I'm so ugly, my boyfriend hates me, my life sucks!

Any normal person: I'm sorry, want a cookie?

2. *Person rambles on 5 minutes about pointless story of how their life sucks*

Me: I'm sorry, want a cookie?

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