christy robjob

When you're masterbating quietly in the bedroom and someone named Christy runs in and steals your penis away from you and finishes it off with an oldfashioned handy job.

Bro I was totally beating it the other day and I got Christy Robjobed... took that big summbitch out my hand and finished it off for me.... she wasn't as good as me though.

Mike Hike

The subtle act of walking into the woods, only to be gripped on the shoulders by leathery carpenter’s hands and sodomized with a floppy picklesque piece of birch and or maple.

Mike : hey Brandon! Why don’t you go take a Mike hike you buttslut?
Brandon: I’m already on one! (Continues getting raped)

Hug Jerk

Hug-jerk noun: 1. a form of over the pants handjob unseeable to anyone not involved in the hug! Perfect for family reunions, and baptisms.
2. Also a jerk who gives you a hug but it goes unreciprocated because he or she is punk bitch. Not to be confused with hung-jerk... like Cody Bustaloady

Dude 1:Woah. Bro. Did you see what she just did during that hug?
Dude 2: No?? Did she git at your nips??
Dude 1: Nah man she hug-jerked the shit outta my bologna roll! Love me a good Hug Jerk
Both dudes in sequence : high five! Noice!

Strain’n on the Jon

1.When you push too hard exporting whoppers and your hemorrhoid bunch splashs in the cold unforgiving depths.

2. When you’re planting a fence post and your chili ring becomes one with the surface of the water.

3. When you’re dropping a full house off at the pool, and an Ace slips outve your hole.
4. During the exportation of a Pringles can, you push so hard you divorce your gooch.

5. Sometimes mistaken for the sexual act of Jon Straining which is when you’re balls deep in your boy jon and he sneezes and almost cuts your Dick off with his turd cutter.

Bro: ahhh man dude… I had dump truck nachos last night and right in the middle of getting after some beav and I spent the night strain’n on the Jon.
Bromigo: sorry man, when’s the funeral for your taint?