Todd Gibbs

A religious Figure emerging in the late 1980's came to public view in the early 2000's many notable feats making him well known through out his native pacific northwest and quickly gaining a small following. law enforcement have yet to make any sort of move because Todd Gibbs has not committed any illegal activities.

many of his followers ascribe to him to have god like status, praising him in a facetious manner and exaggerating his greatness.

while no one is sure of exactly what Todd Gibbs looks like it is rumored that he is a giant, or has giangantisism claims on his emmence strength and inhuman penis have been made but may be rumors started by his followers.

This Song can often be heard in Todd Gibb's Presence

Praise Todd, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye Heavenly Host;
Praise Because He rocks the Most. Amen.

Todd Gibbs takes the bus to work, he walks but he picks up the bus and takes it with him.

Todd Gibbs had sex with three women at once. when he was 9

when Todd Gibbs goes Camping He purposely brings women on their period with him so he can eat fresh bear meat

39👍 10👎

Captain Sunshine

n.
Captain Sunshine is that person who is bright and cheery, even if you are depressed, pissed off. or tired.

tim: Good morning!
Bill: Shut the Hell Up Captain Sunshine

11👍 2👎

istanbul

Noun.
Was Constantinople,
Now it's Istanbul not,
Constantinople.
Every gal in Constantinople
Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople
So if you've a date in Constantinople she'll be waiting in Istanbul

guy 1: wasn't Istanbul Constantinople?
Guy 2: yes, but now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Guy 3:Been a long time gone, Constantinople...
Guy 1: Why did Constantinople get the works?
Guy 2: That's nobody's business but the Turks!

119👍 61👎

sannytize

Verb.
to make a foodstuff that is not a sandwich into a sandwich.

mmm that thanksgiving turkey was good I can't wait to sannytize the leftovers tomorrow.

the 7-11 Pizzandwich is just sannytized pizza.

4👍 2👎

the man upstairs

noun.
a judgmental guy who watches everything I do, can hear everything I say and if I don't give him ten percent of my paycheck every month he'll kick me out.

Tim: Sally I can't have sex with you it will upset the man upstairs.
Sally: wow, Tim I didn't know you were so religious.
Tim: I'm not, I just mean that My landlord Frank is really old fashioned and he might not let me renew my lease.

62👍 55👎

shave the whales

My personal Goal. I can't tell you how many time's I've been swimming in the ocean when i got tangled up in a bunch of gross Whale Body hair. So I'm proposing a international Shave the Whales Foundation to Rid the ocean of unnecessary Whale Shedding

Stupid Hairy Whales If it wasn't bad enough that we had to put up with them drinking all our water eating all our sailors now there is whale hair everywhere. we should just shave the whales

61👍 27👎

E-whipped

adj.
When a guy is so whipped by his girlfriend that she controls all the stuff on his online profiles
i.e. Myspace, Facebook, Friendster

guy 1: "what happened to the music on your profile"
guy 2: " uh, carol hates that song, so I...."
guy 1: "dude, You are so E-whipped"

142👍 25👎