Fetlife

Fetlife IS basically Facebook for BDSM/kinky people.

Fetlife IS NOT a hook-up website or a dating website. Many guys go on Fetlife and get really, really frustrated when hordes of women don't swarm them like submissive, cock-starved zombies. Thankfully, they're usually to ashamed of their sexuality to show up to real-life events.

Most events put on by your local BDSM community will be posted on Fetlife, so it's a great place for newbies to find real-life events. When two kinky people meet, they add each other as friends on Fetlife to keep track of each other. This is because if you ever meet someone at a BDSM function they probably won't be willing to add you on Facebook until you're a close friend.

Once you start going to munches and parties, you can meet/find a kinky partner just like you would find a normal, vanilla partner. The only difference is that kinky people are usually pretty nerdy, so being a nerd or quirky will actually wind up increasing your odds. Also, having a mutual interest in BDSM is one hell of an ice breaker.

Wrong way to use Fetlife:

Bob Blowhard the Retired Stockbroker: "I went on Fetlife, uploaded a picture of my flaccid old man dick and immediately sent all the 25-year-old women I could find the same copy-and-paste message demanding sex because I'm such a domly dom. They all told me to fuck off. What bullshit. This website is so stupid. I'm going to go back to being perpetually ashamed of my sexuality and never, ever go to a real-life event because all kinky people (except me, of course) are secretly evil, depraved people."

Right way to use Fetlife:

Jimmy the person who has his shit together: "I've always felt so weird about being into BDSM. It's great I finally found this website that allows me to find a real-life community of people who are just like me!

30👍 11👎

Cornell Crunch

Cornell University's student-run BDSM organization.

Crunch is an official, university-approved student organization. It is also part of Haven, the LGBTQ+ student union.

Crunch meets every Tuesday near central campus to host demonstrations and get-togethers. Most of their members find the group through Fetlife.

"Are you going to Cornell Crunch tonight?"

"No, I have a prelim for Professor Blowhard's math class."

"That sucks. You're gonna miss the wax play demo."