Tom Bergeron

some crappy television host that seems to represent 94% of ABC's program output. Hosts "Dancing with the Stars" and "America's Funniest Home Videos".

Jack: Did you see that crazy new reality show on ABC last night? It was crazy.
John: No. Who hosted it?
Jack: Tom Bergeron
John: Enough said.

32👍 42👎

$200 word

noun - a large, complicated word, often containing several syllables. The words usually have a complicated meanings, but sometimes are just used in place of shorter words to make the speaker sound more intelligent.

Entymology: Apparently, way back in the days of the 1960s, a game show known as "Password" had a celebrity giving word association clues to a contestant in order for them to say a certain word. After winning the main game, the contestants moved on to the "Speed Round" in which contestants were give 30 seconds to guess 4 difficult words, each being worth $50 in value. The fourth word was usually long or difficult. Since if you got all of them right you got $200, that last one before winning became the "$200 word".

John: I was masticating my delectables while staring into my girlfriend's troubled face. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, "Nothing". Even though I knew this was a fabrication, the look of versimilitude on her face told me otherwise.

Jack: Stop using those $200 words! You could of easily said you were eating dinner and your girlfriend was lying about something!

17👍 9👎

Excess tax on stupidity

noun - the lottery. Some consider it the tax on stupidity because the proceeds go to the state, and only the stupid pay it.

John: I got to buy my big lotto ticket!
Jack: Oh, you have to pay your excess tax on stupidity!

17👍 6👎

Willy on Wheels

infamous vandal that vandalizes wikipedia by moving pages to the original title but with the addition of the phrase on wheels.

Willy on Wheels moved the page George W. Bush to George W. Bush on Wheels.

125👍 16👎

Snow dayed

phrase - whenever you get up and ready for school, drink coffee, shower, the whole shabang, then school gets cancelled and you can't go back to bed.

John: Alright, time for school.
Joe: School's cancelled.
John: Man! I can't go back to bed.
Joe: Snow dayed. Ouch.

cement pond

noun - an inground swimming pool.
entymology: from the Beverly Hillbillies show on tv used the term to describe their swimming pool.

Jethro: Hey Pa! I'm gonna take me a dip in the cement pond!

50👍 11👎

Those were the days

phrase used when you reminisce about the "good old days" when life was easy. Even more fun if you make it a song like Edith and Archie Bunker did in the "All in the Family" opening.

Boy the way Glen Miller played
songs that made the hit parade.
Guys like us, we had it made.
Those were the days!
And you knew who you were then.
Girls were girls, and men were men.
Mister, we could use a man Herbert Hoover again.
Didn't need no welfare state.
Everybody pulled his weight.
Gee our old LaSalle ran great.
Those were the Days!

52👍 7👎