fortification

Often confused with medieval castles and military forts, fortification is actually a lifestyle choice. Fortifiers ingest large amounts of asszucchini, dingleberries, brown asparagus, and other assorted rear-end vegetables. Based on the controversial diet section of Corny V. Buttstache's sensationalizing book, "Brown Greens," it advocates the practice of slowing.

I always find myself in a state of fortification.

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slowing

Not-so-fasting.

Slowing is a sacred practice among bosom extremists during the month of plugadam.

"Want some pizza...box?"
"No, thank you, I'm slowing this week."

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asszucchini

Often confused with a nut, the asszucchini is actually a legume. Its natural habitat, dangling from branches of dingleberry bushes, is being challenged by invasive species of buttsquash and brown asparagus. High in fiber.

Asszucchini is the leading cause of fortification in the United States for women over 40.

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assviolin

A rare instrument of the string family produced in German restrooms. Other instruments in this family include the assviola, asscello, assbass (not to be confused with asscannon), assguitar, assbanjo, assfiddle, or asszamboni.

Zeig den bogen uber meine arschgeige
"Draw your bow across my assviolin"

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