cob

An acronym for "Council of the Bean", Cob refers to any willing group of people who regularly meet with a purpose, in any local coffee-house of their choosing. (*Costa excluded)

Traditional Cob rituals included member aliases, which include their real name, and an alliterative prefix/suffix which is coffee-house related, replacing the coffee-house and caffeine with a club and some alcohol at least once a month, and having the designated driver veer off the road at least twice on the way home from Cob. New members are initiated with a piping hot double espresso, while members who wish to be stricken from the Council list must ingest two spoonfuls of used coffee grounds.

Founded in a small coffee-house, lost to the mists of time, in Glasgow, Scotland, Cob's have since sprung up all over the globe, reaching from the caffeine-rationing suburbs of Tokyo, to the dizzying heights of the Space Needle's Starbucks in Chicago.

Whether Cob is just a temporal fad, or whether or not it will stand the test of time, remains to be seen; we can however be certain that it will never be forgotten.

Bernie: "Tomorrow is Thursday, almost time for Cob! Time to get my "Bernie Bean" t-shirt good and ironed!"

Kevin: "I feel under-appreciated by my fellow Cobbers, they always insult my driving despite the fact that I'm the only one who can drive - oh well, I know they only mean well, and I can take a good joke."

Neil: "I, Nacho Neil, call this meeting of the Council of the Bean to order. Latte Lesley; the minutes from the last meeting, please."

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pappin' ho

Deriving from the root words pap, meaning to pass wind, and ho, the Americanisation of whore, pappin' ho loosely equates to the phrase "playful slut", as in when one calls a companion a slut in a playful matter, not some sort of mischievous prostitute.

Used as an anyword, it can often be heard as an interjection in place of an exclamation, though it usually refers to a person or group.

The apostrophisation of "papping" is essential.

Norbert: "Karen told everyone I have a cheap dress sense!"
Bernard: "What a pappin' ho!"

Lisa: "Oh look, it's our favourite waitress, Harshy McPappin'Ho!"

Karen: "I'm such a pappin' ho..."

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pap

One of the few acceptable anywords still left in existence, it takes its root from a euphemism for passing wind, however it has since grown into popular usage as a less offensive, more playful version of crap.

"That is utter pap!"
"What a pappin' ho that Sheila is..."
"I'd like to teach him a thing or two about papping..."

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