both

A combination of broth and bread. Both is the main source of nourishment in communist nations. In some countries, it is eaten as much as 18 times a day. As Stalin himself once said, "a comrade with both, is a comrade with a smile". Research has shown, the more both you eat, the more left-wing you become. In Russia, rather than socialising at the pub like English folk, men gather in both kitchens. In Ukraine, it is traditional to make both from family pets once deceased. If you eat both too much, you sprout a moustache.

"both! both! both! both! both!"

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