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Bob 'I saw Jon last night. He's been fucking around again.'
Jim 'He's always at it. He must have an OAP.'
Bob 'A what.'
Jim 'An over active prick.'
A shit that is accompanied by a large amount of gas under pressure.
John 'I had a massive blaster shit this morning'.
Bob 'What's the hell is that ?'
John 'A massive combination of gas and shit, came out like a shotgun going off'. 'The toilet bowl and my arse was covered in shit'.
Bob 'Lots of toilet paper then ?'
John 'Oh yes, at least one roll !'.
Ubering the children to and from their destinations by personally driving them when requested.
I've got to do some ubering today as the children need their 'chauffeur' to take them here, there and everywhere. I'll be ubering children all day.
A Christ Drive occurs when while driving on a summer's evening in say, Brighton, a passenger shouts 'Christ', while passing any number of extremely attractive girls walking by. Thus it's a Christ Drive.
Three Guys are cruising a busy seaside town on a hot Saturday night.
Dave ' Christ, look at that' (while the car is passing by a very attractive girl who is walking by).
Jon 'Where?'
Col (driver) 'By that bus stop back there on your left'.
Jon 'Christ she's a bang'.
*several similar passes later*
Col 'Another successful Christ Drive guys'.
So Obviously Gay .
Jimmy 'Did you see him at the party ? Strutting his stuff, the hair, medallions, clothes, movements....he's a SOG.'
Philip ' A SOG, WTF !'
Jimmy 'He's so obviously gay'.
I conducted an audit interview. The auditee hadn't a clue about the system they administered. The whole process was a TABWOT.
John 'That girl last night was fantastic in bed! '
Ben 'Really, how good was that? '
John 'The best I've ever had, a FOAL!'
Ben ' FOAL ?'
John ' Yes a fuck of a lifetime. Nothing to do with horses. Anything better would be a SUPERFOAL! '
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