Device masturbation

noun; the act of being on an internet enabled device for no reason other than the pleasure of oneself.

"There's been a lot of device masturbation, if you will, and it needs to stop. I know your just updating your Facebook 15 times a minute, and there is no reason for it." My history professor.

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Japanese Steel

noun: a slang term for a katana sword

Used in the movie Kill Bill, Vol. 1
ex 1 (plural) : "I need to see him for his Japanese steel"
ex 2 (singular) : "I have Japanese steel"

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Cloud Porn

noun; a collection of titillating imagery and/or movies that can be easily accessed from any mobile device as well as your computer without using space on either. This allows for the ultimate in clandestine masturbatory activities without alerting anyone as to where you keep your "stash". Best used with people who view their porn on multiple devices or on shared computers.

I got a free 50 gb account with box.net and I'm going to use it as a place to store my cloud porn.

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SFG

acronym for 'so far gone'. Can refer to someone literally or figuratively.

-Man, you see that kid? He is wasted.
--Yeah he's SFG.

*You hear what O'Donnell did during the football game? He's SFG.
**Yeah they'll string him by his panties for that one....

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Slush money

noun; describes the type of money that is in multiple places, in unmarked bills, in countries like Switzerland, that have policies against allowing anyone (even those with a court order) to access anyone else's account in that countries banks'.

Don Leone used his slush money in Switzerland to fund the arming of militant groups in Iraq so his stock in Saudia Arabian oil would go up.

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rich uncle

noun: The brother of your mother or father that has a lot of money but no kids. Usually a cool bachelor, drives an old muscle car or an expensive new car. May be quirky or strange but always loves to shower his nieces and nephews with gifts.

Last year my rich uncle Tim added a Corvette along side his 1964 Jaguar E-Type coupe in East Hampton. And the best part is he lets me drive the 'vette with the valet key he gave me!

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I had something for this

Phase, used after forgetting a one liner

as used by Sterling Archer

Archer: Damn, I had something for this, too... um... damn it. Eat grenade, stupids!

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