Barbara Cartland

British expression of contempt. Originally a British female author who wrote incredibly predictable chick lit and was famous for a number of reason, such as having the longest entry in the publication "who's Who"; a belief that despite advanced age and decrepitude she was incredibly attractive to the male sex; the belief that under no circumstances could she possibly be wrong. Now expanded in use to describe any pretentious, arrogant, unattractive female with delusions about her looks, talent, knowledge and so on. If you see one coming towards you run as fast as possible in the other direction or arrange for her to be abducted by aliens and taken to a far galaxy.

Jane's had a poem published in a free magazine, now she's acting like she's won the Nobel prize for literature.
That stupid munter? What a Barbara Cartland!

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Molly Piss

British Westcountry slang for an ineffectual male. The epithet carries with it implications that the recipient is also impotent, effeminate and incompetent. The origin is unclear, perhaps deriving from the expression 'not worth Molly's piss' meaning to be of no account or worthless, although who Molly was we'll never know.

Malcolm's got all emotional again 'cos he can't get the computer to work, says it's something technical.
Did he plug it in?
No, but he threatened to raise a grievance against me 'cos I laughed at him!
What a Molly Piss!

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evaced

US Army slang from the Vietnam War. A contraction of evacuated, it means to be removed from a combat zone, by helicopter, to an aid station or hospital and, if the injury or wound is serious enough, back to the United States.

Joe caught some shrapnel in Charlie's last mortar attack; he's bein' evaced back to the States with a stopover for more surgery in Japan.
Shame, now we'll get another FNG.

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Whistling up a pig's ass

This picturesque expression was originally used by Rednecks in the USA, but has achieved wider usage due to combined operations of US and European troops. It is used to describe something that totally futile, a waste of time and effort and something that you do not wish to do. By extension it can be applied to mean a person who is a waste of time and effort, someone with whom you do not wish to associate and whose existence can only be described as one of nature's biggest mistakes..

Malcolm's made another great and glorious cock-up, that asshole really is no more use than whistling up a pig's ass!

TF-BUNDY

Originally an acronym used by medical staff and stands for Totally Fucked But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet. It is used to describe patients who are quite literally dying or in a Persitant Vegetative State PSV or patients who although they may have a serious medical condition are a total pain in the ass. Believed to have started in America, the use of this acronym has become widespread.

That greedy fuckwit Malcolm's eaten something bad! He got taken to hospital in an ambulance, throwing up all over the place, now he's in a coma!
TF-BUNDY!

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AHOYA

AHOYA is an acronym standing for Asshole Of The Year Award. Used frequently to describe those people who get the best jobs, promotion, bonuses not because they're good at their job, but because they lick the boss' boots and brown-nose anyone in authority. They are usually below average to poor performers but their sycophancy ensures that this goes unnoticed.

Malcolm's got an end of year bonus despite failing to make any of his targets!
Yeah it's his AHOYA

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Whack Job

There are a number of definitions to this phrase, two of the commonest being:

1) A person who exhibits abnormal behaviour, this can vary from mild eccentricity to full-blown, froth at the mouth insanity. The degree to which the person is a whack job is usually given by qualifiers to the phrase. Mild eccentricity would be indicated by saying the person was 'a bit of a whack job' stronger symptoms of eccentricity and the person would be 'a proper whack job'. If the person was seriously insane then they would be 'a total, out-and-out, raving whack job'.

2) A professional killing, also known as a hit. The whack part comes from the victim being killed (whacked), the job from the fact that this is done for payment by a professional (it's his or her job).

1) Jackson Galaxy is a bit of a whack job, but he knows a hell of a lot about cats (he's not bad on guitar either).

2) Spanner was found dead in his flat, looks like it was a whack job!

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