linen driver

When you rub your partners face in the wet spot, spank them, and call them bad.

I gave her a linen driver last night, and now she won’t talk to me.

schmazoo

When engaging in anal sex and the receiving partner farts, shooting air into the penis playing it like a kazoo.

My giff try L gave me a schmazoo last night and now my penis plays 2000s pop songs.