apoocalypse

A devastating explosion of excrement.

Wow, have you seen the apoocalypse in the third floor toilets? Is it the HR department holding another dirty protest?' 'No, it's that new contractor from Wilmslow. The cleaners have put up a new sign in the toilet saying "Please leave these facilities in the condition that you would wish to find them", and he took it literally.'

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cuntractor

A contractor (especially an IT contractor) who is a cunt.

These new contractors on the project seem, OK, but I'm not sure about the American.' 'No, he's right up his own arse.' 'And he's a Marillion fan.' 'Ah, what a cuntractor.

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greylist

A list of people, who do not merit a place on a blacklist but who are still marked out for poor treatment.

"I keep getting offered a poor daily rate by agencies for contracting roles." " You're probably on their secret greylist, that they operate from the Dutch Antilles to avoid Data Protection legislation.

assguru

Experienced but ageing toilet trader

I bumped into Luke last night.

Really, is he still in business? He's old but he's still got the moves. A real assguru!

bin day

Collection day for bins

Hey, it's bin day tomorrow, so make sure you put the bins out.

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gary glitterati

1. Celebrity paedophiles

2. Celebrities know to indulge in anal sex (taking it up the gary glitter)

1. I see the police raided the BBC and arrested some gary glitterati.

2. I read in Head magazine that xxxxx xxxxxxxxxx are both gary glitterati.

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permiedom

Permanent employment (being a permie), as viewed by a contractor.

The contract market is so bad that I may be force to abase myself before the altar of permiedom.

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