Masturbreaker

A person for whom masturbation is so vigorous an activity that, in the process of self-pleasuring nearby objects become broken or damaged.

My old roommate was a masturbreaker. His room always looked like there had just been an earthquake.

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juice sucker

someone who performs oral sex acts such as cunnilingus or fellatio and ingests the bodily fluids that are released from the genitals of the receiver.

Some say that a juice sucker is a keeper.

never-was

a person who has not achieved success or fame, despite considerable effort. Unlike a has-been, who at least had once enjoyed noteworthy stature, a never-was simply fails to become prominent. Normally refers to a person unsuccessful in athletics, the entertainment industry, or other creative arts.

Plural - never-weres

Although he'd written a few catchy songs in his heyday, he attracted little fanfare and hung up his guitar after deciding that in the world of music, he hadn't been destined to become anything more than a never-was.

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sucks cock

a misnomer used to describe someone or something that is very bad, when in actuality having one's cock sucked is a nearly universally positive experience for the receiver.

Sam: One Direction sucks cock.
Joe: What are you talking about? I've had my cock sucked hundreds of times, and it's always been anywhere from pretty good to fantastic.

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lovely

a British term that's becoming more widely used in American English to describe someone who is mild and pleasant. To say that someone is lovely might mean that he or she is nice or easy to be around, but isn't the most fuckable or fuckworthy person.

1. If someone says that you're lovely, you ain't getting laid.

2. Nate: What do you think of the new girl at the office?
Dave: She's lovely.
Nate: Would you bang her?
Dave: Hmmm...I wouldn't go that far.

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wealthy selfie

a self-posted image to social media that features a flashy display of large quantities of money

What's up with the wealthy selfie? Who you think you are, P. Diddy?

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two different people

A phrase describing two individuals who have very little to nothing in common, in terms of personalities, interests, opinions and/or beliefs. A softer way to say that two people are generally uncomfortable in each other's presence and because of the resulting tensions are unlikely ever to get along or even be able to stand one another.

Dave doesn't talk to his father anymore. They're just two different people who never saw eye-to-eye on anything.

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