Fatty Taint Syndrome

Fatty Taint Syndrome, or FTS, is an age related condition which causes the taint to become chaffed and irritated due to physical exertion. FTS shouldn’t be confused with Drooping Balls Syndrome, or DPS, which is caused from the gravitational effect on the scrotum and testicles of aging men, and results in painful episodes of sitting on one’s own balls.

My friend volunteered to referee some basketball games for the Special Olympics and had to be assisted to his car due to extreme pain in his taint. Upon close examination by his Fantasy Football team doctor from the League of Idiots, he was quickly diagnosed with Fatty Taint Syndrome. It sucks getting old with a fatty taint.