purple mushroom stamp

NOTE: this move requires a flacid penis. while dangling your dong in front of a woman in an attempt to 'woo' her, you grab the base of your member and swing it in a counterclockwise ninja motion smacking her flush on either cheeck leaving a welt resembling a purple mushroom. in germany this is seen as a sign of affection...in tennessee it will get you killed.

i wanted sandi to know that i was into her...so i gave her a purple mushroom stamp. in return she hooked me up with an award winning clark bar

82👍 52👎

smurf bite

a dynamic pinch executed between the thumb and the middle finger, braced by the index finger for added leverage thus increasing the pain ten fold

that small asain tried to donkey punch me so i countered it with a smurf bite to his slow zipper headed ass

85👍 25👎

the clark bar

when anal fucking a girl, get deep enough to get a substantial amount of poo on the tip of your dick. then pull out and tell her to suck it like it contains the anti-serum. if your dong has enough poo on it, this should resemble some nasty skank enjoying a king size clark bar on a fine summer day.

"so...i was balls deep in this bitch and she yelled out Nick's name. so i pulled out and gave that ho a clark bar!"

9👍 9👎