beached gator

A straight turd that is so long, it emerges from the toilet bowl water to have it's "head" poking out of the water and resting above the water line.

I ate a big steak last night and today left a beached gator in the toilet...whew, that sucker was huge!

Eye Pad

An absorbent cloth or sponge, used for dabbing tears away as a result of crying about not having an iPad.

The hipster's shirt would normally have been soaked after sobbing for hours about not having an iPad. Luckily, his Eye Pad was close by and kept his shirt dry.

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Mauna Loa

A defecation (a "number two") so large that it breaks the surface of the water in the toilet. Named after the original Mauna Loa, is the largest volcano on Earth in terms of volume and area covered, and one of five volcanoes that form the Island of Hawaii.

"I had to go to the bathroom SO bad that I dropped a Mauna Loa"!

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