keybored

(n.) the frustration of waiting for someone that sucks at typing to finish writing something on a computer.

Guy 1- "Did Stan email the prof about the project."
Guy 2- "Yeah, it took like 20 minutes because he was chicken pecking the shit out of the keys! Honestly, I could have written it in 3!"
Guy 1- "Shit. You must have been pretty keybored, bro!"

81👍 15👎

'Crattitude

(n.) the attitude, typically piss poor, assumed by any foolish individual drinking Aristocrat Vodka, aka 'Crat.

Guy 1- "Did Keith just bong a solo cup of 'Crat?"
Guy 2- "Yeah, I wish he hadn't too, he gets a bad 'Crattitude from drinking that shit!"

248👍 70👎

gnazi

(n.) a swarm of gnats, proving so vexatious as to warrant a comparison to the totalitarian regime of the National Socialist German Workers' Party (Nazi).

Fuck the great outdoors! These gnazis are pestering me like the Gestapo!

228👍 39👎

hamburger

(n.) a recently-given hickey; coined for its distinct raw, meaty look.

Guy 1- "Nice hamburger, broseph."
Guy 2- "Yeah. She was real hongry!"

368👍 147👎

shopping bitch

(n.) the guy who carries his woman's merchandise around a store; nothing screams whipped louder; female response to being told to make a sammich.

Guy 1- "So I saw you and Lindsey at the store. Hope those shoe boxes weren't too heavy, haha!"
Guy 2- "Shut up, man!"
Guy 1- "Dude, she made you her shopping bitch! You are too whipped for words!"

Guy- "Hey baby, can you come here? Now go make me a sammich!"
Girl- "Did you just say that, little man? Go be my shopping bitch, or it's no sex for a year!"

62👍 22👎

timbering

(v.) to ream someone with some solid timber; to fuck her silly.

Guy 1- "You trying to drink some Bud tonight."
Guy 2- "No, I'm gonna be timbering my slutfriend."
Guy 1- "Send her my condolences."
Guy 2- "No remorse, bro. Grow a pair."

59👍 11👎

Florida Surprise

when you pull out from some head to stop from cumming, but proceed to blow your wad all over her face anyway: mutual surprise ensues, as you thought you just needed a quick break.

Dan: "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh no! Cindy, stop! I'm gonna cum!"
*yahtzee*
Cindy: "What? Come on Dan, what the fuck! All over my face?"
Dan: "Sorry darling, it was a Florida Surprise!"

46👍 19👎