shopping bitch

(n.) the guy who carries his woman's merchandise around a store; nothing screams whipped louder; female response to being told to make a sammich.

Guy 1- "So I saw you and Lindsey at the store. Hope those shoe boxes weren't too heavy, haha!"
Guy 2- "Shut up, man!"
Guy 1- "Dude, she made you her shopping bitch! You are too whipped for words!"

Guy- "Hey baby, can you come here? Now go make me a sammich!"
Girl- "Did you just say that, little man? Go be my shopping bitch, or it's no sex for a year!"

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Lagamemnon

The king of all laggers, brings your online gaming speed down to a crawl.

Guy playing Call Of Duty: "Wow, is this guy using dial up?! Seriously my game speed went down to zero! He is Lagamemnon!"

11👍 2👎

Tha Burg

(n.) a hip, funky fresh way of jazzing up the name of even the most mundane city/ township ending with the suffix "Burg."

Guy 1- "Yo champ, where you lockin' down tonight?"
Guy 2- "I'm hittin' up Tha Burg wif my girl, dawg!"
Guy1- "Tha Burg? Where the fuck is that?"
Guy 2- "Tha Burg! Ya know? Williamsburg, not much happening there, D. Gotta spice it up somehow."

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timbering

(v.) to ream someone with some solid timber; to fuck her silly.

Guy 1- "You trying to drink some Bud tonight."
Guy 2- "No, I'm gonna be timbering my slutfriend."
Guy 1- "Send her my condolences."
Guy 2- "No remorse, bro. Grow a pair."

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Florida Surprise

when you pull out from some head to stop from cumming, but proceed to blow your wad all over her face anyway: mutual surprise ensues, as you thought you just needed a quick break.

Dan: "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh no! Cindy, stop! I'm gonna cum!"
*yahtzee*
Cindy: "What? Come on Dan, what the fuck! All over my face?"
Dan: "Sorry darling, it was a Florida Surprise!"

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limbering for timbering

(v.) doing exercises, often crunches or push ups, before sex in order to look marginally more fit; to do a warm up routine in preparation for raucous sex.

Girl 1- "Isn't Mike coming over?"
Girl 2- "Yeah!"
Girl 1- "Then why are you doing crunches?"
Girl 2- "I'm just limbering for timbering. It's gonna get rough tonight, plus I want to burn some flab."

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2 o'clock brunch rush

(n.) the wave of hung over college kids that comes into the cafeteria for brunch around 2pm; typically occurs on Saturday and Sunday.

Guy 1- "Dude, you were so wasted last night."
Guy 2- "I know, I need to eat!"
Guy 1- "Well, you'll be smack dab in the middle of the 2 o'clock brunch rush if you go now."

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