timbering

(v.) to ream someone with some solid timber; to fuck her silly.

Guy 1- "You trying to drink some Bud tonight."
Guy 2- "No, I'm gonna be timbering my slutfriend."
Guy 1- "Send her my condolences."
Guy 2- "No remorse, bro. Grow a pair."

59👍 11👎

Florida Surprise

when you pull out from some head to stop from cumming, but proceed to blow your wad all over her face anyway: mutual surprise ensues, as you thought you just needed a quick break.

Dan: "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh no! Cindy, stop! I'm gonna cum!"
*yahtzee*
Cindy: "What? Come on Dan, what the fuck! All over my face?"
Dan: "Sorry darling, it was a Florida Surprise!"

46👍 19👎

limbering for timbering

(v.) doing exercises, often crunches or push ups, before sex in order to look marginally more fit; to do a warm up routine in preparation for raucous sex.

Girl 1- "Isn't Mike coming over?"
Girl 2- "Yeah!"
Girl 1- "Then why are you doing crunches?"
Girl 2- "I'm just limbering for timbering. It's gonna get rough tonight, plus I want to burn some flab."

55👍 6👎

ethics and shit

(n.) a concise summary of the details of any college discussion/ question/ debate relating to ethics.

Guy 1- "What happened in class yesterday, bro?"
Guy 2- "The prof talked about ethics and shit."

271👍 67👎

falsebook

(n.) a fake Facebook account that you make for friends who either deleted theirs or refuse to get one.

Guy 1: "This is fuckin' perfect! Whoever made a falsebook for Brian, mad props! The only thing is you have to put TWILIGHT as his favorite movie, TOOL as his favorite band, and list his sexual preference as interested in MEN!!! He's gonna be so pissed when he finds out about this falsebook! Fuck yeah!!! Wooooo!!!"

77👍 11👎

shopping bitch

(n.) the guy who carries his woman's merchandise around a store; nothing screams whipped louder; female response to being told to make a sammich.

Guy 1- "So I saw you and Lindsey at the store. Hope those shoe boxes weren't too heavy, haha!"
Guy 2- "Shut up, man!"
Guy 1- "Dude, she made you her shopping bitch! You are too whipped for words!"

Guy- "Hey baby, can you come here? Now go make me a sammich!"
Girl- "Did you just say that, little man? Go be my shopping bitch, or it's no sex for a year!"

62👍 22👎

Male Order Slut

(n.) sort of like a mix between a blind date and a booty call, it's the skank you dig up for the bro who came to visit your college and wants to get laid.

Guy 1- "Dude, I'm ballin' down to Tha Burg tonight!"
Guy 2- "Good shit, we need to party!"
Guy 1- "Yeah man, I need some pussy bad! Wanna hook me up?"
Guy 2- "Oh, I got a perfect male order slut just waiting for ya, champ!"
Guy 1- "Glorious! I'ma get my dick wet!"

86👍 27👎