Montville

Montville is a rich town in white jersey (oops, north jersey) populated by Italians and japs, and Asians. Money is prominate, as seen by its "actresses" on Real Housewives of New Jersey. The high school is highly ranked and competitive, but the kids, and parents, know the system. Friend groups range from cliques.......to cliques, and your money determines you. Alcohol and especially weed are always available, and the house parties are pretty dope. You can't hide from mustang pride--or the resident's pride, but deep down the town has a huge heart and good people.

"Let's go to Montville tonight." "You mean the ville?"

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Hazewinkel

An extremely in-depth, labor-intensive act (of the sexual variety) requiring five Lederhosen-wearing men and one "spinnable" woman. The act of Hazewinkeling follows these steps:

Two male and one female participants should assume the spitroast position. One of the unoccupied men kicks off the event by "marinating" the woman with his seed. The remaining two men join the event by rotating the woman about her two phallic pivot points at a slow, but satisfying pace. When the roasting is mutually concluded to be "well done," the two "Roasters" withdraw from the woman, while the two Spinners continue to support her weight. The REAR Roaster then proceeds to donkey punch the woman and drops her, which immediately prompts the "Marinater" to ring a large, brass dinner bell three times in succession while shouting: "HAZEWINKEL! HAZEWINKEL! HAZEWINKEL!" The festivities conclude when the Marinater loudly exclaims: "The Pig is Done!"

That, my friends, is known as a Hazewinkel....roll credits.

Man 1: "Hey bro, you cravin' some bacon?"

Man 2: "Yeah breh! I know a chick and a couple dudes that are totally down to Hazewinkel!!"