A lonely shell of a man, most likely bald or receding. Find him in his in his natural habitat in the corner of the club, his 1-inch wonder in hand, saggy hoody hanging off his shoulders, grinning with a white substance lightly tugging at his upper lip hair while staring at the smaller men in the club. If you are ever approached by a Classic Kieron, follow with caution, to avoid being kissed by his white sloppy lips, offer a cider, slide it over, slowly. And then run.
Could also be described as a man with a tiny penis.
"Tom, there's a man over, I think he's touching his dick. He's staring at you."
"Oh god! It's a Classic Kieron! Give me your cider, quick!"
"Oh how dissapointing, you have a Classic Kieron."
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