It's a "FART"
Before you fart. You tell the wife/girlfriend. Ya ever heard a "Michigan Barking Spider"? You go through the whole spiel on some get really big. 99% of people never seen them and they make a loud sound like....and make any kind of weird sound. Wait a few minutes and ya let one rip. Then yell out ....Oh my God. There is one in here someone where.
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