John Mode

an all-encompassing state of mind which allows endless possibilities to those who enable it. With John Mode ON, no other modes are required. It is superior to God Mode, Beast Mode, à la mode or any other mode conceived by man or nature.

When playing Call of Duty on Xbox LIVE I turned on John Mode and pwned those noobzorz.

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Snapdragon

A large, bulbous, vagina-shaped tropical plant. A fully mature Snapdragon features several rows of razor-sharp teeth, a flowery pink lip structure, and squirts a fiery discharge upon stimulation.

"Please water my Snapdragon while I'm gone. Not with your penis."

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Warm the Bed

The act of farting in bed in order to provide a more inviting environment for one's partner.

Please warm the bed for me baby. Did you have nachos for lunch?

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Wind Job

a natural phenomenon that occurs when the unharnessed suction power of the earth's winds bring a man to orgasm unexpectedly. The resulting feeling provides new motivation for the affected male to seek a career in renewable energy development.

“I appreciate wind jobs" - Mitt Romney

The Shitis

The gastrointestinal distress felt as a consequence of eating at the cultural phenomenon known as Denny's. A combination of The Itis and The Shits, Shitis takes effect the instant the Denny's waitress brings your check. Early symptoms include nausea, bloating, lethargy and a sense of extreme drowsiness.

In the later stages, those affected will experience bloating, smelly gas, and explosive greasy leakage from the anus, too horrible to be considered an average case of diarrhea.

The only effective treatment for The Shitis is to build up a tolerance for food considered unsafe for human consumption. This can be accomplished by regularly consuming Fried Cheese Melts at Denny's topped with bacon, and a side of fries.

I was about to get some after taking my girl out to Denny's, but I developed The Shitis during foreplay and made a mess. At least it was in her bed and not mine.

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