Shovel-Ready

A state of readiness, needing only a shift in resources - monetary, emotional, psychological - in ones favor.

I'm shovel-ready for a relationship with Betty, if only she knew I existed.

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shovel-ready

A state in which one's various projects only need a whack of cash thrown at them for them to roll.

My next novel is shovel-ready, I just need to receive that pesky arts grant.

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spamaniac

(noun)

An individual or organization who continues to send you multiple emails even after you've asked to be removed from their list.

Any individual or organization who sends more than two emails about their upcoming event.

I used to be Facebook friends with Chuck but he's such a fucking spamaniac I had to delete him.

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Tobaccdraft

(noun) The smoke that drifts into buildings from the cigarette addicts who stand just outside, hauling on their butts.

I was trying to eat my banana bread at the Common Cafe, when the tobaccdraft killed my appetite.

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douchebait

A comment, status update or tweet designed to illicit idiotic responses.

Almost any mention of politics is great douchebait. Take a firm position and watch the feeding frenzy.

I criticized some parents for using their child's image as a profile pic on Facebook and it proved to be a perfect piece of douchebait.

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procrasturbation

n. to avoid work by masturbating.

I didn't feel like working on my novel so, instead, i just lay around procrasturbating.

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