Schlep

The thick chunk of fecal matter that inexplicably remains stuck to the inside of one's thigh after a bad bout of diarrhea. Typically necessitates a shower, or, at the least, a new pair of underwear.

"You guys fuck or what, bro?"
"Fucking hell, man. She wanted to eat my ass, so I went to the bathroom to clean up. I used three rolls of paper, and as soon as I stood up, I felt a huge chunk of schlep down there."
"Hahaha, fuck man. What did you do?'
"I told her I was gay and left."

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