chav

A humanoid drone with no intentions in life other than to go to prison, steal things from old women, and beat 4 year olds. In this episode of "Exploring Vermin", we dissect the Chav's existance.

1: Morals

A Chav is motivated not by its own brain(whether or not it has one is unknown) but rather the actions of its pack(see 2), with some of its more aggresive actions fuelled by the beatings it was given whenever it made a single noise for the first 5 years of its life. It generally aims to:

-piss off every living thing around it
-make itself look like a complete arse
-chug enough monster and red bull to make an ant be able to cross the world twice in around half an hour

2: Interactions of its kind

Chavs hunt in a small pack of 5-6 males with one or two chavettes, usually for extra dickhead motivation. The group of arseholes will then try to look hard in front of the female(s). The Chav will attack anything nearby, including small children, brick walls and postboxes, usually ending in an ASBO.

3: Sustenance

Chavs will consume anything as long as it is not healthy in any way. Chavettes notably treat vegetables as poison.

4: Friends

-none found-

5: Enemies

-cannot display, number exceeds 99999999.

6: Reproduction

Chavs and chavettes will reproduce once every few weeks, ers, a scientifically proven fact.

7: Intelligence

Ha, that's a good joke.

8: Conclusion

Both the chav and chavette need to become extinct for humanity to remain profitable.

Louis: yo blad what u bin sayin??
Kev: nothin mate juss bin wiv chantelle
Gazza: aaay fams wot ya doin
Louis: blud, wot u doin yeh?
Gazza: startin fam? STARTIN?
Louis: an whaat blud? i bang you mum
*Gazza walks off, muttering "u succh a chav blud"*