cougar

A cougar cannot be defined simply, as one cannot consciously seek out a cougar. One can only prepare him/herself to confirm a positive cougar sighting by familiarizing themselves with the common signs/traits of a cougar. Many mistakenly fall back on their general knowledge of cougars to incorrectly confirm and report a cougar encounter. Those who are commonly sighted in public and misidentified are usually not actual cougars but are their more familiar and far less cunning cousin- the puma. Cougars are always on the prowl for a new mate and are seasoned in their tactics to not be easily identified, as they served many years as a bobcat gaining experience prior to attaining their seasoned cougar status. If you feel the presence of a cougar on the prowl you may instinctively experience a chill down your spine. It is advisable to shy away and avoid falling prey to the attack. When drinking it is good prevention to have a wingman that honors the Sheppard’s rule to not let you leave the herd or the watering hole without their approval.

Three common flaws in the cougar’s camouflage:

1. She knows a lot of your acquaintances and they tend to have positive initial individual reactions to seeing her, but quickly shy away when they realize they are in the herd. (Cougars are known to prey upon many animals in the same herd that generally enjoy the experience but fear publicly admitting the encounter, as falling prey to a cougar scars the reputation.)

2. Despite her ability to fit in by wearing the current fashion, during conversation about current popular music or TV culture she may make references of many retro or historical topics that you may or may not have some basic knowledge of. (Cougars are generally fifteen or more years older than they appear in a dimly lit bar or club and generally prey upon victims substantially younger than they are.)

3. Cougars tend to have trophy toys to entice their prey such as expensive sports cars, hot tubs, expensive homes, etc. which are products of their years of success in their careers. (These luxuries are not easily afforded during the more youthful period that preceded becoming a cougar.)

Bear in mind, once a cougar on the prowl has cornered you, separated you from the herd and pounced, you too will likely not publicly admit to the encounter.

Famous outed Cougars: Demi Moore (Ashton=victim), Naomi Watts (Heath Ledger=victim) Joan Collins, Cameron Diaz, Cher (countless victims…)

22👍 46👎