wifevoidance

When you find things to do so you can avoid your wife

Husband to friend: “Putting in work here at the gym!”
Friend: “dude it’s 5:15am and you were up sending me memes at like 2am, what are you doing?”
Husband: “wifevoidance, bro, if I stay at the gym long enough I can just go straight to work afterwards and completely not have to see her”
Friend: “smart”

Blow Vacation

Because blow ‘job’ sounds like work

Ken: How about a blow vacation?
Lady: I don’t follow
Ken: Doesn’t a blow ‘job’ sound like work?
Lady: Well then... *gulp gulp...*