kilt

n. A skirt, worn by the particularly feminine.

"Kilt is manly an sklt is girlish. "

"That's easy for you to say"

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McDonalds

A business that sells things that people happen to eat.

Shall we go down McDonald's for lunch or shall we spend it in the toilet cramming urinal bars down our throats and throwing up?

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New York

Formerly the most exciting, diverse, happening city in the world. Since the bourgeoisie, revenue-raising tyranny of fatty Giuliani, however, it's now like Belgium with skyscrapers. Rapidly becoming a fictionalised myth.

New York, man. Used to be a hell of a good city. Now you can't dance in jazz bar, see a strip show, smoke or drink after 1am.

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lager

Any bottom-fermenting ale. Although the term is used now to refer exclusively to light-coloured German- and Scandinavian-style beers, Lager was not light coloured until Urquell produced their Pilsener Beer in 1868. Until then, all lagers were a darkish colour and a sweeter flavour.

Interestingly, Pilsener is now a term applied to beer that doesn't meet strict Northern European purity standards and cannot be called lager.

Also used with a modifier (-lout) to describe the behaviour of young (usually) men after cosuming large amounts of this very drinkable beer. This usage may now be archaic, being largely an invention of the British tabloid press in the 1980's.

"Pint of lager please, mate."

"LAGER LOUTS TERRORISE TOWN CENTRE"

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media

An 'industry' that exists to provide a job for rich, bored kids who are able to work* for next to nothing for the first eight years of their working life before being given a 'break'. This usually consists of sucking a fat sweaty producer's minging weapon for the chance to make tea for Jamie Theakston.

*In divergence from the usual definition of the word, 'work' is here defined as 'bitch incessantly about the other coked-up shit-for-brains tossers (who use question inflection for every sentence they ever speak due to their crippling insecurities hidden by self0abuse and eating disorders) that you work with then take your holidays with them to Cannes or the Edinburgh Festival'

"Oh, well the media isn't reaslly a job, darling? It's more of a lifestyle choice, yah, y'know?"

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chav

(n) Bilious invective directed at poor people by insecure, empty-headed 'readers' of 'Heat' magazine and the Daily Mail. An acceptable form of class snobbery for people who are too 'right-on' (or perhaps just too poor) to join a country club.

A concept invented by media cokeheads to give underpaid, overworked middle class bores something to look down on and prevent them rebelling against the people who sell them for pennies every single day of the year.

"Look at that Adrian. Some dirty chavs! I'm glad we've got our over-mortgaged little shoe-box and our Vauxhall Nova so we can see how we're different from them."

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homophobia

The last acceptable bigotry.

"If racism or sexism in the workplace were as prevalent as homophobia, almost everyone in sales would be on a final warning"

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