apoth

'Apoth' is what Northern Englanders call loved ones who do something silly or idiotic.

'ere Ivy, don't you think that Stonlay is a daft apoth? He is such a cloth ear bless 'im. Last night I went up t'road fur a pint o' lager and told 'im to go fetch us a bag 'o chips an mushy peas and the blighter done summitright daft and got me a steak an' pud and it weren't no Betty's pie neither mind, it were that crusty Iceland rubbish those townies scoff on their tods.

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ghetto lobster

A baby who's been 'disciplined' with hot water (immersed in a pot of boiling water, for example) by someone with poor parenting skills attributed to an economically under-privileged upbringing.

That's no baby with a sunburn; that's a ghetto lobster.

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