runaway bride

a person who realizes at the very last minute that her boyfriend who claimed to be a BORN AGAIN VIRGIN was actually gay and world NEVER perform in the sack EVER!!!

Jennifer thought that it was a little weird that her fiance whom she had been engaged to for years never wanted to have sex even when she threw it in his face and became a RUNAWAY BRIDE.

10👍 92👎

pissholes in the snow

when your eyes are sunken in after a night of drinking and no sleep.

Michael came into work this morning and his eyes looked like two pissholes in the snow.

90👍 52👎

recovering manager

After being a manager for many years the person attends rehabilitation and a twelve step program to get over the trauma of dealing with employees and their petty problems at work.

Joe use to be a really easy going, nice, intelligent person but now he is a recovering manager and sits around all day with slobber running down his face.

4👍 25👎

with a ten foot pole

when someone is so ugly and disgusting that no one would want to touch them, sometimes not EVEN with a ten foot pole.

Jessica had pox marks all over her body from people touching her with a ten foot pole.

23👍 56👎

Statesboro

A small boring college town in southeast Georgia surrounded by cotton fields that is spelled that way because no one knew how to spell Statesborough.

"Hey, after we get drunk and stoned tonight in Statesboro let's go out and tip some cows"

83👍 128👎

speaking in tongues

using your tongue to relay a spirtual message.

Billy Bob was speaking in tongues when he showed me what a Texas Taint Tickler was.

48👍 136👎

essex

Blue class neighborhood in Maryland on the Chesapeake Bay that now, when the middle class that use to work in the steel mills is disappearing and all of the rich muthaf*&%ers from Washington, D.C. want to buy the property and put their boats on it.

My boat is now on the Chesapeake Bay in Essex, Maryland.

72👍 90👎