Lady Mushroom

Like a Willy Wonka Everlasting Gobstopper, this mushroom can be licked, pounded, eaten, smacked, and basted, but will never deplete. Doing so may only make it stronger.

My mom said you hammered her lady mushroom so hard that today it killed a baby kitten.

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Champagne Flute

When an uncircumcised man pulls his foreskin high up over the end of his penis, forming a repository for liquids. His gay lover then proceeds to ejaculate into this skin-shaped cup, being very careful not to spill any of the delicious semen. Once the glass is full or the supply has run out, you may then proceed to drink from the glass, holding the stem ever so delicately with your thumb and index finger. A monocle is recommend for performing this sophisticated act.

I invited Ezra and Joey out for a drink on Saturday night, but they said they'd been up all night drinking out of their champagne flutes and couldn't make it to the bar. Maybe another time though, they replied.

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